I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize