You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
