did you get engaged???
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Randomize
