just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
