New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
