We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
