Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
