Dual....:-)
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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