I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
