Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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