Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
