He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
