like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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