not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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