It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so let's talk penis.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
