I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
