Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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