what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
