Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
