Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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