their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
