Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize