i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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