in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
