I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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