you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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