is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
