You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
