just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
