I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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