david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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