One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
