ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
