Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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