Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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