I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
