i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
