just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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