Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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