Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
