his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When are your genitals available?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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