Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hell yes lets make some ravioli
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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