If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize