Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My vagina is officially offended.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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