why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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