oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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