Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
