found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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