dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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