fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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