she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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