oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
