Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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