we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
