But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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