Im at strip club and am horny
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
