I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
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