In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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