I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
