I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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