I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
