that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
