Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
