He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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