I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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