Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
