super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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