whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
