You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
