Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
