Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
